David Falk

From the often amusing Peter Vescey, is this slam of former super agent David Flack Falk
NYPost

DON'T be led astray by repeated suggestions (courtesy of the Daily News) that Dikembe Mutombo is in danger of being deported this season. "People must really think I'm stupid," Isiah Thomas snarls. "If we reach the playoffs, I'm well aware his defensive presence and experience can make a difference in winning one or two more games depending on how far we go."

Curiously, the News has exhumed David Falk and furnished him with a platform to spew indiscriminately at Thomas. Damn, once Michael Jordan left the league, we all figured Falk was out of the business of giving people the business.

Over the years, Allen Iverson, Stephon Marbury, Adrian Dantley, James Worthy, Al Wood, Mitch Kupchak and many other astute players dumped the cancer-causing agent like toxic waste for various reasons, some of 'em downright nefarious.

Unfortunately, confidentiality agreements between certain players and Falk ("I'd love to tell you what happened but it'd cost me," one of the former stars told me a while back) prohibit us from delving too deeply into his dark secrets.

At any rate, Falk recently accused Thomas of being disrespectful, vindictive and not nice for failing to inform him beforehand of Keith Van Horn's trade (which prevented him from leaking the news to media pets) to Milwaukee.

First of all, Falk has never earned Thomas' respect, only his wary vigilance.

Falk has never forgiven Thomas for providing the impetus years ago (as president of the Players Association) to lower an agent's fee for negotiating a contract with a team from 10 percent to a max of 4. As many millions as he's pocketed, he's been trying to get even ever since, regardless of how low he has to go; killing Thomas in print, behind his back, to players, TV and league executives, owners, whatever his smarmy scruples can conjure up.

Here's a transparent example of what a reptile we're dealing with: When the Pacers were thinking about hiring Thomas as coach, Falk tried to submarine him early and often to management and prime client Jalen Rose.

The only thing that really matters concerning Van Horn, I submit, is that Thomas showed him the utmost respect. Forty-eight hours before the trade was consummated, Thomas alerted him via phone (Keith's family was vacationing at Disney World during the All-Star break) concerning what was on the table. When the deal was struck, Van Horn was the first to be enlightened.

Falk's Mutombo Jumbo is equally egotistical and inane:

As much as the oddball agent would love Dikembe's demotion to be more about him than the prehistoric center slowing down to a glacial gait, it's not. As much as Falk craves to come out of the shadows and interject himself into Thomas' spotlight, he can't. As much as he longs to think he's as much as a dot of Thomas' daily thought process, he's mistaken. As much as he'd like to pick a public fight, well, he might get that if he pushes his luck.

I find it amusing Falk claims his feud with Thomas has something to do with Mutombo losing his starting job (before going on IR) and losing minutes. Meanwhile, Falk didn't say spit when the Nets paid his client $27 million to leave two seasons early.

Now playing: Thank You/Death Valley 69 , from the album The Day Andy Gibb Died by Flaming Lips (released 2001)