Negative Nabobs

I already typed this up myself, a few months ago, but now Harpers has it available online, & its still funny. So you have to indulge my solipsism, and non- Tinsley Mortimer -nessNegative Capability (Harpers.org):
Negative Capability

Posted on Thursday, July 15, 2004. The following assertions were collected from public statements made by George W. Bush and his official spokesmen since 1997. Originally from Harper's Magazine, May 2004.


The President of the United States is not a fact-checker.


I’m not a statistician.


I’m not a numbers-cruncher.


I’m not one of these bean counters.


I’m not very analytical.


I’m not a precision guy.


The President is not a micromanager.


I’m not a member of the legislative branch.


The President is not a rubber stamp for the Congress.


I’m not a censor-guy.


I’m not a lawyer.


I’m not a doctor.


The President is not an economist.


I’m not a stockbroker or a stock-picker.


I’m not a forecaster.


I’m not a predictor.


I’m not a pollster, a poll-reader guy.


I’m not a very good prognosticator of elections.


I’m not a committee chairman.


I’m not of the Washington scene.


I’m not a lonely person.


I’m not a poet.


I’m not a very good novelist.


I’m not a textbook player.


I’m not an emailer.


I’m not a very long-winded person.


I’m not a very formal guy.


I am not a revengeful person.


I’m not an Iraqi citizen.


I’m not a divider.


I am not a unilateralist.


I’m not a tree, I’m a Bush.