We're Embarrassed by him too

From a few years ago, but still funny.

Bill O'Reilly Factor : By HEATHER MALLICK From Saturday's Globe and Mail Saturday, May. 1, 2004

It's someone's fault I appeared on The O'Reilly Factor on Fox News Tuesday night to discuss a column I wrote welcoming the presence of American deserters in Canada

...
Mr. O'Reilly is not a smart man. He's like one of those old guys you see on the street ringing a bell and shouting about eternal damnation. He talks to his trousers. You know the type. They let wasps nest in their hair so they can lure weasels, trap 'em and eat 'em slow over the summer.

We were supposed to be discussing American deserters fleeing to Canada; instead, he went off on some wild thing about the mayor of Vancouver injecting people with heroin and unless Canada shapes up, “we” will boycott you and destroy your economy, just like “we” did to France.

I said France seemed to be doing fine. He implied that France now looked like Dresden in 1945. I hadn't heard that.

I said the United States couldn't boycott Canadian goods because it would be mutually damaging. “We're your biggest trading partner.”

“No, you're not.” (We are.) Naturally, I wanted to reply, “Yes, we are,” so that he could say “No, we're not,” and then I'd say, “Everything you say
bounces off me and reflects back on you, so there,” but I couldn't regress that far. Mr. Doyle would have been shrieking.

And then he asked me if I was a socialist, and I said, “Certainly,” and it was as if I'd said I like donkey semen in my latte instead of milk. He then went into a mad rant about lefties like Mr. Doyle and how I was a typical Globe columnist. I said, no, truthfully, I think I'm regarded as “idiosyncratic” (the first six-syllable word ever spoken on the O'Reilly show), and he erupted again.

It was like talking to a manic child who had eaten 800 cherry Pop Tarts for breakfast. He kept interrupting, so that no point could be made that could win a reply, much less a reasoned response - not so much a gabble of sound bites as a howling from Bedlam.

Amazes me that O'Reilly is still on the air, which says quite a lot about American media, doesn't it?

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