This guy seems to have some seriously malformed ideas about casual drug use.
My girlfriend tried cocaine at a party! She was drunk! Oh my God! | Salon Life:
I have a crippling emotional distrust of people who do drugs or abuse alcohol. I'm sure many people judge others who do drugs, but I feel that when I hear someone has done drugs, even if it was in college, that I view them in a completely different light -- I now think of them as stupid, selfish or insecure. I feel like I have less judgment for people who smoked marijuana, but I still feel like I look down on them.
I'm a graduate student and I have never done drugs and I only drink socially. I have no desire to take drugs because a) I don't like losing control of my body and b) I don't think it adds anything to a person's character. ... I've never seen anyone do cocaine or known anyone who did cocaine (at least, publicly). I've had trouble sleeping since then and can't really get it out of my mind. If she had done cocaine in college it would still be problematic, but last year? That's far too late for youthful indiscretion. The fact that she would so lightly fall to peer pressure while drunk makes me worry about what else she'd do while drunk. I consider cocaine to be on the pretty extreme end of the drug spectrum, with pot on the other. So, it also makes me worry that there are other stories with other drugs just waiting to come out. And this all adds up to make me doubt her and feel anxious and weird around her, probably because the fact that she did cocaine and has no remorse about it troubles me.However, I fully realize that I am really uptight about this subject in general and that I judge people too harshly because of it. I don't know how the normal person would see this behavior. I really don't want to judge her or other people and I don't want to lose sleep over this. Is my thinking really far out of line or should I keep worrying?
Uptight Judgmental Grad Student
I don't usually like folks who are regular cocaine users either, but I think I'd like this guy even less. Something seriously is wrong with him, the US anti-drug propaganda has warped his judgement, perhaps permanently. If he only knew how many people he talks to on a daily basis have used drugs, he might start sobbing in the corner.
Cary Tennis gives fairly good advice to the UJGS, including this (which I totally agree with)
That's OK. We all have pet peeves. Me, I have serious concern about the trustworthiness of people who commit wanton melisma. I don't think jail time is called for in all cases. I think community service would usually suffice. But still, I have a problem with it. I especially have a problem with improvised melisma in standards, and in “The Star Spangled Banner.” I don't think I could really date anybody who would do that. It just seems like such a monumental lapse of judgment. But that's just me. I generally keep quiet about it.Because these are things that we really, really, really hate, they are kind of private.
