Straight Talk From Sarah

Gail Collins laughs, as so many of us are this weekend, at Sarah Barracuda Palin and her quitter’s mentality.¹

Truly, Sarah Palin has come a long way. When she ran for vice president, she frequently became disjointed and garbled when she departed from her prepared remarks. Now the prepared remarks are incoherent, too.

“And a problem in our country today is apathy,” she said on Friday as she announced that she would resign as governor of Alaska at the end of the month. “It would be apathetic to just hunker down and ‘go with the flow.’ Nah, only dead fish ‘go with the flow.’ No. Productive, fulfilled people determine where to put their efforts, choosing to wisely utilize precious time … to BUILD UP.”

Basically, the point was that Palin is quitting as governor because she’s not a quitter. Or a deceased salmon.

Sarah Barracuda made her big announcement Friday afternoon on the lawn of her home to an audience that appeared to include only Todd, the kids and the next-door neighbors. Smiling manically, she looked like a parody of the woman who knocked the Republicans dead at their convention. She babbled about her parents’ refrigerator magnet, which apparently had a lot of wise advice. And she recalled her visit with the troops in Kosovo, whose dedication and determination inspired her to … resign.

“Life is about choices!” declared the nation’s most anti-choice politician.

[Click to read more of Gail Collins – Sarah’s Straight Talk – NYTimes.com]

[House and Car, Ketchikan, Alaska]

So far my favorite Palin resignation piece is the Daily Kos diarist who turned portions of Palin’s speech into free verse:

and im not gonna put alaskans through that

i promised efficiency

and effectiveness

thats not how im wired

im not wired to operate

under the same old politics as usual

i promised that four years ago

and i meant it

it thats not what is best for alaska at this time

im determined to take the right path for alaska

even though it is unconventional

and its not so comfortable

with this announcement

that im not seeking reelection

ive determined its best to

transfer the authority of governor

to lieutenant governor parnell

and i am willing to do this

so that this administration

with its positive agenda

and its accomplishments

and its successful road to

an incredible future for alaska

so that it can continue without interruption

and with great administrative and legislative success

There’s more if you’re interested. It almost makes Palin’s babbling readable, actually.

and i really dont want to disappoint anyone with this announcement

not with the decision that i have made

all that i can ask is that you trust me with this decision

and know that it is no more politics as usual

and some alaskans it seemed today

maybe they dont mind wasting public dollars and state time

but i do

and i cannot stand here as your governor

and allow the millions of dollars and all that time go to waste

just so i can hold the title of governor

and i dont know if my children are gonna allow it anyway

1. sorry for the poor grammar, but I need more coffee still. First draft is the version that makes it onto this blog anyway. [↩]